JourneywomanWhy are you still single?
May 21st 2008 02:05
Sometimes, the reason you're single is obvious - perhaps you're still recovering from a breakup, or maybe you're too busy at work to think about having a relationship. Other times, however, the reason is not so willing to show itself, and after long stretches of singledom, you may start to wonder what is wrong with you. Am I too fat? Not pretty enough? Is my personality boring to others? It can really etch away your self-esteem.
The fact is, there's (probably) nothing wrong with you - you just haven't met the right person yet. If you're like me, you will settle for less on occasion. I hooked up with a guy friend who I knew wasn't right for me, but I missed the intimacy and companionship that a partner brings, so I went along with it. We broke up after just six weeks and remain good friends, and I'm glad we had our little tryst, but it made me want the real thing that much more.
Personally, I believe the reason I'm still single is because I don't go out enough. Sure, I see my friends, and I go to the gym and everything else, but it's rare that I'll have a 'big night' where I actually get to meet new people. And at work, I'm not likely to meet someone suitable due to the industry I work in. So it makes sense that no-one new and exciting has entered my life - I haven't given them the opportunity!
Whatever you do, don't allow your single status to get you down, because there is absolutely nothing wrong with it - you just haven't met the right person yet. Have faith that you will, in time, meet the person of your dreams, and that they'll feel the same way about you. In addition, you will appreciate them more for having been single for a while beforehand.
So why are you still single? Are you not ready for a relationship, or is something else standing in your way? Let me know orblers.
The fact is, there's (probably) nothing wrong with you - you just haven't met the right person yet. If you're like me, you will settle for less on occasion. I hooked up with a guy friend who I knew wasn't right for me, but I missed the intimacy and companionship that a partner brings, so I went along with it. We broke up after just six weeks and remain good friends, and I'm glad we had our little tryst, but it made me want the real thing that much more.
Personally, I believe the reason I'm still single is because I don't go out enough. Sure, I see my friends, and I go to the gym and everything else, but it's rare that I'll have a 'big night' where I actually get to meet new people. And at work, I'm not likely to meet someone suitable due to the industry I work in. So it makes sense that no-one new and exciting has entered my life - I haven't given them the opportunity!
Whatever you do, don't allow your single status to get you down, because there is absolutely nothing wrong with it - you just haven't met the right person yet. Have faith that you will, in time, meet the person of your dreams, and that they'll feel the same way about you. In addition, you will appreciate them more for having been single for a while beforehand.
So why are you still single? Are you not ready for a relationship, or is something else standing in your way? Let me know orblers.
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Comment by Cibbuano
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I think it's funny that we are all conditioned to think that you need to go to a bar or club to meet new people. Now that I'm out of the dating game, I think back and realize that I rarely met anyone I really liked in a bar.
We're just so used to that idea that it prevents us from spending our energy doing something else we might enjoy more.
Comment by The wonderful Peter Yang
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Cheers
Comment by Journeywoman
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Peter, yes it does vary from person to person. I know for a fact that I'm happier when I'm with someone, but I can still enjoy the times when I'm single. Cheers for commenting.
Comment by Sara Dobson
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Comment by Morgan Bell
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people tend to stay with people who they have mutual interests with, so unless you have a specific interest in being an alcoholic or a binge drinker then youre probably not going to find your perfect match at a bar!
having said all that i think people are increasingly able to find happiness in life without being partnered, it suits some people and not others, so if youre generally never in a relationship then you probably dont want to be.
Comment by AmyHuang
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Comment by Journeywoman
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Morgan you're right, well said as always. I remember hearing that most married couples met each other at work, not at the pub, and it makes sense as your interests would be more alike. Having said that, I met my last boyfriend at the pub... but we were playing poker, so there's the common interest.
Amy, the grass is always greener - I'm (a little) jealous of girls who are already married, because they have that constant flow of love and companionship. Here I am, sitting alone at my computer, and there you are, with your loving husband by your side. I'm looking forward to that, but will endeavour to enjoy my single life as much as possible. Cheers for the comment.