JourneywomanThe early stages of a new relationship
April 1st 2008 00:13
The beginning of a new relationship is an exciting time. After months of fruitless dating I've finally hooked up with a guy that I always thought of as a friend, but who gradually became more attractive to me. I get butterflies when I see him, I'm sure my eyes light up and are a dead giveaway, but I've started to become quite attached. Not that I'd ever tell him that. The early stages of a relationship should always be relaxed and casual; there's no need for any in-depth discussions about 'where this is going' because it's only just begun.
In fact, becoming too serious too soon would have to be the number-one way that new relationships end. If you become clingy or feel the need to be around your new paramour all the time, they will feel smothered, sometimes to the point where they wonder if this is all worth it. They don't know you well enough at this stage to know how fabulous you truly are, so might nip the new relationship in the bud if you've become too intense.
The other thing with new relationships is not to become too comfortable too soon. If you start getting lazy with your appearance, or can't be bothered to make good conversation, the attraction will fade. Comfort is for people who have been in a relationship for years - not one that is brand new. Also, if you start getting mushy too soon, your new partner may get irritated and look for the nearest door.
The key thing to remember is to take things slowly. There's no need to jump straight into bed (although I did - whoops!) and there's no need for in-depth conversations about the two of you as a couple. Don't get mushy, and don't become clingy, and you'll be on the way to a deep and lasting relationship.
In fact, becoming too serious too soon would have to be the number-one way that new relationships end. If you become clingy or feel the need to be around your new paramour all the time, they will feel smothered, sometimes to the point where they wonder if this is all worth it. They don't know you well enough at this stage to know how fabulous you truly are, so might nip the new relationship in the bud if you've become too intense.
The other thing with new relationships is not to become too comfortable too soon. If you start getting lazy with your appearance, or can't be bothered to make good conversation, the attraction will fade. Comfort is for people who have been in a relationship for years - not one that is brand new. Also, if you start getting mushy too soon, your new partner may get irritated and look for the nearest door.
The key thing to remember is to take things slowly. There's no need to jump straight into bed (although I did - whoops!) and there's no need for in-depth conversations about the two of you as a couple. Don't get mushy, and don't become clingy, and you'll be on the way to a deep and lasting relationship.
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Raven, you're right. As long as you don't get TOO comfortable.... no peeing with the door open for example.... but yes it is nice to be able to fully relax within a relationship.
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