JourneywomanStraight men... acting gay?
September 29th 2008 21:21
This is something that has long puzzled me when it comes to my male friends. When we're all out in a group, getting a little tipsy, two of them in particular like to pretend to be gay. And I don't mean the old worn-out limp-wristed routine - because that kind of stereotyping is seriously out of date - I mean touching and kissing one another, and, when they get really, really drunk, bumping and grinding on the dance floor.
Now both of these guys are (to my knowledge) entirely straight, and one of them is married and a devout Christian to boot. So why is it that they pull this routine? I have absolutely no idea. But I'm pretty sure my guy friends aren't the only Aussies in their twenties that do this.
Whether it's a sign of latent bisexuality, sexual deprivation, or pure drunkenness, guys are much more open about expressing affection for one another now than they were ten years ago. Acting gay with your friends now the thing to do among guys, apparently.
In some ways I find it homophobic - after all, they're mocking the behaviour of gay men for laughs - and I know that straight men in general, on a global scale, do not act like this... it's only some of the young Aussie guys as far as I can tell. And most of them would probably laugh it off and attribute it to the one-too-many, but as for me? I think it's a sign of society's gradual evolution. What are your thoughts?
Why?
Now both of these guys are (to my knowledge) entirely straight, and one of them is married and a devout Christian to boot. So why is it that they pull this routine? I have absolutely no idea. But I'm pretty sure my guy friends aren't the only Aussies in their twenties that do this.
Whether it's a sign of latent bisexuality, sexual deprivation, or pure drunkenness, guys are much more open about expressing affection for one another now than they were ten years ago. Acting gay with your friends now the thing to do among guys, apparently.
In some ways I find it homophobic - after all, they're mocking the behaviour of gay men for laughs - and I know that straight men in general, on a global scale, do not act like this... it's only some of the young Aussie guys as far as I can tell. And most of them would probably laugh it off and attribute it to the one-too-many, but as for me? I think it's a sign of society's gradual evolution. What are your thoughts?
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Comment by Ren
The Blue Blog
I've seen guys do this and also have read some things. One thing to consider is the way the media romanticizes/sensationalizes being gay. So, I think a lot of people consider being/acting gay "fashionable" and/or exciting. I've noticed this more in women and women go further with it than men do. In a way, then, people who act gay just don't really understand what it's like to be gay, as far as the problems that come along with it, rather than mocking. To me, it's similar as to how whites in the US sometimes try to "act black" for fun and/or because they think certain elements of "black culture" are cool, but then can and DO drop the act and go be privileged unlike blacks. The media has made us feel more okay with the idea of homosexuality and a lot of people consider themselves "liberal," "open-minded" or whatever on that issue, but display a serious lack of understanding.
Second, I believe in this thing called the Kinsey Scale, which basically is based on the idea that everyone is a little bit gay or hetero on a scale of 1-6. Women have long felt comfortable calling other women attractive and nowadays you hear "totally straight" women very vocally naming female crushes they have and/or talking about which women they'd seriously have sex with. I think men are seeing this and, in combination with what I've written above, for some men, they feel more comfortable showing that they know another man is attractive.
Finally, I've noticed this really weird, annoying thing where it seems like a lot of people from "privileged" groups are desperate to separate themselves from that group somehow--I guess because they're tired of their group being insulted and, on some level, hated and portrayed as bad guys all the time. This somewhat also goes back to my idea that being gay is romanticized and considered exciting by some people. Nowadays, it seems like everyone is trying to have a sob story, portray themselves as disadvantaged, etc. I read this article where Pete Wentz from Fallout Boy made some dumb comments about how he wishes he were gay because he thinks it'd be great to always have to fight the world...just some silly crap like that, that, once again, demonstrates a lack of understanding. And he's one of those guys who likes to kiss guys and things of that nature, too. Being privileged is out of vogue.
Okay, sorry for the book!
Comment by Journeywoman
Great Hair Style Tips
I Dream of Hollywood
Australian Chick
Fashion Peach
I'm glad you don't think the guys are being homophobic because I'd hate to really believe that. Instead I think you're right about how being gay has become romantized in the media and in society. It's definitely comparable to all the wannabe black people out there!
And yes, people that imitate them do show a lack of understanding for the real struggles of these minorities. That's why I'm not so sure that straight men acting gay is a good thing. I'm undecided: is it a step forward or a step back?
Kinsey scale, I agree 100%