JourneywomanKeeping the mystery
July 2nd 2008 03:42
If you're single and looking to be in a relationship - or even just looking to pick up - then keeping an air of mystery about yourself is of utmost importance. It'll make you seem like a fascinating person, someone that people want to know more about, and will consequently make you appear more attractive to the opposite sex. There's a reason the tall, dark and mysterious man is so sexy to women - and it's not the tall and dark part that does it.
But how do you go about creating this mystique? Simply by not giving away too much, too soon. In this age of myspace and facebook, anyone can find out what they want to know about someone simply by logging on and having a snoop. Following someone's comments can give people a world of knowledge about the person in question - their likes and dislikes, their attitudes, the kind of people they hang with, their intelligence and their personality in general, not to mention all of their vital stats. It's really an intrusion of privacy, and one that countless people are all too willing to accept. And think about it - the more you give away about yourself, the more likely you are to say something that will turn people off you, often before they've even met you. For example, I'm no longer interested in a guy I used to find attractive, because of a homophobic headline he stupidly put on his myspace page.
Now, there's no denying that networking sites such as these are valuable as a means of keeping in contact with people, but all too often they are used for purposes beyond this. When I overheard people discussing an in-joke that I'd had with some friends on myspace - and taking it completely out of context - I realised just how damaging these sites could be, and how un-mysterious I'd made myself. It's for this reason that I deleted my myspace account, and deactivated my facebook profile, several months ago - and I've never been happier or felt more secure. Having your privacy back, and not feeling paranoid about who's watching you, is the best feeling in the world after having it taken away, even though I took it away by choice in the first place. If unknown people want to contact me, they can ask my friends (who are, mostly, all still on facebook) for my email address.
In addition to being careful about what information you place on the worldwide web, you should take care, in conversation, not to let too much slip out. In particular, if you barely know someone or are on a date with them, don't tell them about your prejudices, fears and problems, for you'll not only make them uncomfortable, but they may easily misjudge you. Verbal diarrhea also has no place in situations like this - they don't need to know your life story, the details of your job, or how many people you've slept with. By taking away the mystery you'll seem less interesting, and consequently less attractive. You should only reveal the lesser sides of yourself after you've been with them for enough time to establish real intimacy.
You might want to keep the smoking under wraps...
But how do you go about creating this mystique? Simply by not giving away too much, too soon. In this age of myspace and facebook, anyone can find out what they want to know about someone simply by logging on and having a snoop. Following someone's comments can give people a world of knowledge about the person in question - their likes and dislikes, their attitudes, the kind of people they hang with, their intelligence and their personality in general, not to mention all of their vital stats. It's really an intrusion of privacy, and one that countless people are all too willing to accept. And think about it - the more you give away about yourself, the more likely you are to say something that will turn people off you, often before they've even met you. For example, I'm no longer interested in a guy I used to find attractive, because of a homophobic headline he stupidly put on his myspace page.
In addition to being careful about what information you place on the worldwide web, you should take care, in conversation, not to let too much slip out. In particular, if you barely know someone or are on a date with them, don't tell them about your prejudices, fears and problems, for you'll not only make them uncomfortable, but they may easily misjudge you. Verbal diarrhea also has no place in situations like this - they don't need to know your life story, the details of your job, or how many people you've slept with. By taking away the mystery you'll seem less interesting, and consequently less attractive. You should only reveal the lesser sides of yourself after you've been with them for enough time to establish real intimacy.
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