JourneywomanFriends with Benefits
April 29th 2008 04:44
If you hate being single, but aren't ready to commit to a full-on relationship, you could always go for the friends-with-benefits scenario. This involves sleeping with a friend without actually being their spouse, in other words, having sex without the burden of a relationship. While this situation seems appealing at first, it is often fraught with difficulty. As with all other relationships, communication is key if you want it to work.
These relationships tend to just begin on their own - you'll find yourself increasingly attracted to a friend or acquaintaince, and then (usually after much has been drunk) you'll share a kiss. It's up to you if you want to take it further on that particular night, but if you don't, then sit them down for a discussion on how you'd like to be their friend with benefits. Naturally, this is a much easier proposition to make if you're female! Then decide on what rules you want to have within the relationship. For most, the FWB relationship will end when either party gets seriously involved with someone else.
Don't, under any circumstances, begin a friends-with-benefits scenario with someone you're really keen on. Chances are you'll feel even more strongly for them when you've had sex with them, so don't ever use the FWB scenario as a guise to get closer to the one you're crushing on. It will not work and you'll end up with a broken heart. Instead, save yourself for a proper relationship with them - start flirting now!
FWB relationships are all about the sex, nothing more. Don't expect the best sex ever because you won't get it (the best sex you'll ever have is within a loving partnership) but sex is still sex, right? It should be your key motivation. I've had three FWB relatioships in my time, and twice it worked out really well (the guys and I are still on good terms) but the last time, the guy started to fall for me, and it became really awkward as it was devastatingly obvious that I didn't feel the same way about him.
One thing you can be sure about, your FWB relationship will have to end at some stage. They rarely, if ever, turn into something more. Most often, one of you will meet someone special and the FWB situation will need to be terminated. But in the meantime, enjoy it for what it is - sex on tap without the commitment.
One way of making the proposition...
These relationships tend to just begin on their own - you'll find yourself increasingly attracted to a friend or acquaintaince, and then (usually after much has been drunk) you'll share a kiss. It's up to you if you want to take it further on that particular night, but if you don't, then sit them down for a discussion on how you'd like to be their friend with benefits. Naturally, this is a much easier proposition to make if you're female! Then decide on what rules you want to have within the relationship. For most, the FWB relationship will end when either party gets seriously involved with someone else.
Don't, under any circumstances, begin a friends-with-benefits scenario with someone you're really keen on. Chances are you'll feel even more strongly for them when you've had sex with them, so don't ever use the FWB scenario as a guise to get closer to the one you're crushing on. It will not work and you'll end up with a broken heart. Instead, save yourself for a proper relationship with them - start flirting now!
FWB relationships are all about the sex, nothing more. Don't expect the best sex ever because you won't get it (the best sex you'll ever have is within a loving partnership) but sex is still sex, right? It should be your key motivation. I've had three FWB relatioships in my time, and twice it worked out really well (the guys and I are still on good terms) but the last time, the guy started to fall for me, and it became really awkward as it was devastatingly obvious that I didn't feel the same way about him.
One thing you can be sure about, your FWB relationship will have to end at some stage. They rarely, if ever, turn into something more. Most often, one of you will meet someone special and the FWB situation will need to be terminated. But in the meantime, enjoy it for what it is - sex on tap without the commitment.
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