JourneywomanDo you place women on a pedestal?
December 11th 2007 02:24
What is it about attractive women that has so many men running scared? As a woman I see it happening all the time: a guy who is perfectly comfortable chatting to an average-looking lady suddenly becomes a bumbling idiot when he's introduced to her much-hotter friend. He gets tongue-tied, nervous and tries to overcompensate for his perceived inadequacy by acting in a way that he thinks will impress her. As a result, he comes across as a fool who is too eager to please - not only does he fail in getting the hot girl's attention, but he insults her less-attractive friend by altering his behaviour so obviously. Yes, women notice these things, and yes, they most definitely talk about it!
But it doesn't have to be this way - not for you anyway, my learned friend. All it takes is a shift in your own perception and a little bit of confidence, and once you've achieved this, you'll be able to relax in the company of ALL women... including the winners of the gene-pool lottery.
First things first: whether you think beautiful women are out of your league, or you think that they're only going to be attracted to hot/rich/powerful men, you'd be wrong. Right now, even as you read this, there are ordinary, average guys the world over having sex with beautiful women. And no, it's not because they somehow got lucky - it's because they understand that even the most stunningly beautiful woman is a flawed human being just like them.
That's right. Beautiful women are, in fact, human (crazy idea, I know) and they have just as many flaws as everyone else - you just have to look deeper than the surface to find them. You know that hottie you've had your eye on lately but have been too shy to approach? She is probably just as riddled with insecurities as you are. Even the most gorgeous woman is her own worst critic - chances are there was a time in her life when she wasn't so pretty (it's called puberty) and she still remembers what it was like to be fat/gawky/pimply – this phenomenon is also known as the Ugly Duckling Syndrome. It’s more common than most men realize and can be your best friend if you know how to spot it – just try not to take advantage of it!
Here's something else you may not have thought about: beautiful women burp, fart and pick their noses too. They get nervous. They say and do silly things, and have embarrassing moments just like you do. If you remind yourself of these things when you're next in the company of that gorgeous girl, you'll find her far less daunting and the conversation (yes, you MUST talk to her!) will be less nerve-wracking for you.
This is, essentially, the secret in differentiating yourself from other men: when you think about a particular beautiful woman (you know the one…) you should see her not as a goddess to be revered, nor as an object to be obtained, but as a regular person whose thoughts and feelings are more important to you than how she looks. If you find her appearance so dazzling that all you can think about is what she'd look like naked, take some deep breaths and remember that regardless of how she looks, she is but a mere mortal, just like yourself. So dispense with your self-doubt and become the man already. Nine times out of ten you’ll be glad you did.
But it doesn't have to be this way - not for you anyway, my learned friend. All it takes is a shift in your own perception and a little bit of confidence, and once you've achieved this, you'll be able to relax in the company of ALL women... including the winners of the gene-pool lottery.
Yes, even she is human!
First things first: whether you think beautiful women are out of your league, or you think that they're only going to be attracted to hot/rich/powerful men, you'd be wrong. Right now, even as you read this, there are ordinary, average guys the world over having sex with beautiful women. And no, it's not because they somehow got lucky - it's because they understand that even the most stunningly beautiful woman is a flawed human being just like them.
That's right. Beautiful women are, in fact, human (crazy idea, I know) and they have just as many flaws as everyone else - you just have to look deeper than the surface to find them. You know that hottie you've had your eye on lately but have been too shy to approach? She is probably just as riddled with insecurities as you are. Even the most gorgeous woman is her own worst critic - chances are there was a time in her life when she wasn't so pretty (it's called puberty) and she still remembers what it was like to be fat/gawky/pimply – this phenomenon is also known as the Ugly Duckling Syndrome. It’s more common than most men realize and can be your best friend if you know how to spot it – just try not to take advantage of it!
Here's something else you may not have thought about: beautiful women burp, fart and pick their noses too. They get nervous. They say and do silly things, and have embarrassing moments just like you do. If you remind yourself of these things when you're next in the company of that gorgeous girl, you'll find her far less daunting and the conversation (yes, you MUST talk to her!) will be less nerve-wracking for you.
This is, essentially, the secret in differentiating yourself from other men: when you think about a particular beautiful woman (you know the one…) you should see her not as a goddess to be revered, nor as an object to be obtained, but as a regular person whose thoughts and feelings are more important to you than how she looks. If you find her appearance so dazzling that all you can think about is what she'd look like naked, take some deep breaths and remember that regardless of how she looks, she is but a mere mortal, just like yourself. So dispense with your self-doubt and become the man already. Nine times out of ten you’ll be glad you did.
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Comment by Stanley
i must admit i am confident in every manner in my life, but a beautiful woman that i am attracted to can leave me tongue tied. sometimes you just can't help but be in awe of the exceptional woman standing before you.
Comment by tlcorbin
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Comment by Journeywoman
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Raven, I'm using the classic version of the word beautiful, i.e. physical beauty - what you can see on the outside. Physical beauty and inner beauty are most certainly not mutually exclusive, some people are fortunate enough to have both.... and others have neither.
Keep the comments coming!