JourneywomanDo you fear rejection?
January 23rd 2008 02:33
If so, you’re in the majority. So many men seem fearless in just about every way, but when it comes to approaching a woman they’re into, they’re scared to do it because they fear rejection. It’s a perfectly natural feeling, but it’s one you have to overcome if you want to be with the woman you desire.
First of all, you’ll need to assess how your fear of rejection came about. Did you have a bad experience chatting up a woman that you just can’t forget? If so, you need to reason with yourself that it was not your fault; after all, if she knew you properly, she wouldn’t have rejected you, right? It’s not YOU that she’s rejected, it’s the idea of you that she has in her mind, which may be entirely different to how you really are.
Or perhaps you’re just not too good at approaching women in the first place. The simple answer is practice, practice, practice. Some men even go out with the intention of getting rejected by as many women as possible. Now this takes balls (and probably a fair quantity of liquor) but if you can organise it with your friends, go out and give it a try. It’ll take the power away from the situation and you’ll see it for what it is – a bit of fun and the possibility of meeting someone new. Think about it, if you’re rejected ten times in one night and you’re perfectly okay with that, then you’ll be more prepared when it comes to chatting with a girl you’re really interested in. If she rejects you, well that’s just one more, isn’t it? Turn the game on its head and you’ll find that you’re the one in control. Although you may make a few girls cranky in the process!
Like anything else you fear, if you become familiar with it and learn to control it, you’ll have far more success in dealing with it in the future. Remember that it’s totally natural to feel tense or nervous when you’re around someone you really like, but there’s only one way to find out if she’s into you and that’s to kiss her. In order to get to that wonderful step, you need to approach her and have a flirty conversation, and this is where your fear needs to be managed. Practice doing your thing and in time it will become second nature, and you’ll be chuffed at having beaten your fear.
Nothing to be afraid of
First of all, you’ll need to assess how your fear of rejection came about. Did you have a bad experience chatting up a woman that you just can’t forget? If so, you need to reason with yourself that it was not your fault; after all, if she knew you properly, she wouldn’t have rejected you, right? It’s not YOU that she’s rejected, it’s the idea of you that she has in her mind, which may be entirely different to how you really are.
Or perhaps you’re just not too good at approaching women in the first place. The simple answer is practice, practice, practice. Some men even go out with the intention of getting rejected by as many women as possible. Now this takes balls (and probably a fair quantity of liquor) but if you can organise it with your friends, go out and give it a try. It’ll take the power away from the situation and you’ll see it for what it is – a bit of fun and the possibility of meeting someone new. Think about it, if you’re rejected ten times in one night and you’re perfectly okay with that, then you’ll be more prepared when it comes to chatting with a girl you’re really interested in. If she rejects you, well that’s just one more, isn’t it? Turn the game on its head and you’ll find that you’re the one in control. Although you may make a few girls cranky in the process!
Like anything else you fear, if you become familiar with it and learn to control it, you’ll have far more success in dealing with it in the future. Remember that it’s totally natural to feel tense or nervous when you’re around someone you really like, but there’s only one way to find out if she’s into you and that’s to kiss her. In order to get to that wonderful step, you need to approach her and have a flirty conversation, and this is where your fear needs to be managed. Practice doing your thing and in time it will become second nature, and you’ll be chuffed at having beaten your fear.
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