JourneywomanDating and the Black Dog
January 7th 2008 11:53
It was Winston Churchill who first coined the term ‘the black dog’ to refer to his depression. With an estimated one in five people suffering from depression at any given time, it is highly likely that you will have to deal with it at some stage in your dating life. Most people with depression keep it well under wraps, and some are downright secretive about it, so you may not realise straight away that the person you are seeing may be silently suffering from the black dog.
So what can you do about it? The major thing when dealing with a depressed person is to be supportive, whilst trying to keep their mind off their internal turmoil. Plan activities for the two of you that are both fun and engaging, and preferably active – exercise has long been a remedy for easing the severity of depression. If your loved one is on medication for their illness, make sure that they take it at the proper times without hassling them about it. Depression is not something that can be cured instantly or even quickly; it takes time for the effects of medication, exercise and counselling to kick in. If the person you are seeing is only mildly depressed, they are fortunate in that their depression can be easily cured by using a combination of the above-mentioned methods. For the more seriously depressed person, they may be taking medication and having counselling sessions for a long time, and some even for a lifetime.
Rather than avoiding people who have depression (and consequently reducing your dating pool) it’s best to become informed about it, and know what to do when a depressive episode strikes. A depressed person may not even be aware that a depressive episode has struck, until they begin having thoughts of harming themselves or shutting themselves away from society. Don’t take offence if your girl refuses to see you sometimes, she may be feeling so haggard and unwanted that she’ll shun everyone, including her family and friends. Be supportive. Let her know that while you may not fully understand what she’s going through, you are there for her if she wants to talk or get away from her problems for a few hours. Taking a depressed person’s mind off themselves does wonders for the depressed person, and she will, in her own way, be grateful for your support.
Science has come a long way over the past two decades in terms of medication. Whereas once there was only Prozac and Zoloft, there is now a huge array of medication available for depression, each one tailor-made to suit the individual’s needs. Each year sees new advances in the field, and with mental health receiving more funding than ever from the federal government, improvements in medication occur frequently.
But ultimately, what a depressed person needs is the support and comfort of those who are close to them, and the knowledge that you aren’t going to disappear the minute a depressive episode comes on. Depression affects everyone, but to those who are suffering from it, it’s like being inside a dark tunnel with no light at the end – they are unable to reason in the same way that they would be when everything is going well. Some of the most interesting, intelligent and creative people (like Churchill himself) have to deal with the black dog – and what you can do is understand, as best you can, what they are going through, and be a shoulder for them to cry on, or a means of escape from the turmoil inside their minds. Be there for her, and she will undoubtedly be your support when times get tough for you.
Depression: not nearly as cute as this black dog
So what can you do about it? The major thing when dealing with a depressed person is to be supportive, whilst trying to keep their mind off their internal turmoil. Plan activities for the two of you that are both fun and engaging, and preferably active – exercise has long been a remedy for easing the severity of depression. If your loved one is on medication for their illness, make sure that they take it at the proper times without hassling them about it. Depression is not something that can be cured instantly or even quickly; it takes time for the effects of medication, exercise and counselling to kick in. If the person you are seeing is only mildly depressed, they are fortunate in that their depression can be easily cured by using a combination of the above-mentioned methods. For the more seriously depressed person, they may be taking medication and having counselling sessions for a long time, and some even for a lifetime.
Rather than avoiding people who have depression (and consequently reducing your dating pool) it’s best to become informed about it, and know what to do when a depressive episode strikes. A depressed person may not even be aware that a depressive episode has struck, until they begin having thoughts of harming themselves or shutting themselves away from society. Don’t take offence if your girl refuses to see you sometimes, she may be feeling so haggard and unwanted that she’ll shun everyone, including her family and friends. Be supportive. Let her know that while you may not fully understand what she’s going through, you are there for her if she wants to talk or get away from her problems for a few hours. Taking a depressed person’s mind off themselves does wonders for the depressed person, and she will, in her own way, be grateful for your support.
Science has come a long way over the past two decades in terms of medication. Whereas once there was only Prozac and Zoloft, there is now a huge array of medication available for depression, each one tailor-made to suit the individual’s needs. Each year sees new advances in the field, and with mental health receiving more funding than ever from the federal government, improvements in medication occur frequently.
But ultimately, what a depressed person needs is the support and comfort of those who are close to them, and the knowledge that you aren’t going to disappear the minute a depressive episode comes on. Depression affects everyone, but to those who are suffering from it, it’s like being inside a dark tunnel with no light at the end – they are unable to reason in the same way that they would be when everything is going well. Some of the most interesting, intelligent and creative people (like Churchill himself) have to deal with the black dog – and what you can do is understand, as best you can, what they are going through, and be a shoulder for them to cry on, or a means of escape from the turmoil inside their minds. Be there for her, and she will undoubtedly be your support when times get tough for you.
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Comment by Wynona Lavota
Generation Y Life
Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
Seriously though, great post.
Michaelie