JourneywomanBeing a challenge
March 25th 2008 00:24
Human nature is a funny thing. If there's something that we can't have, then naturally we're going to place a higher value on it, and want it all the more. The same applies to dating and relationships: if someone plays hard to get, or is already in a relationship, then they naturally appear to be more attractive to us. In fact, many women are only attracted to married men, as it is though he has been pre-approved by the woman he's with as being of high value. This presents a problem - as soon as the previously unavailable man becomes available, he loses his value in the eyes of the woman. The chase is over, she no longer wants him, and the cycle continues.
But how, as a single person, can you use this natural phenomenon to your advantage? Simple - by making yourself a challenge. If you're hard to get a hold of, or are playing hard to get, you present a challenge to the woman (or man) who is interested in you. The more they chase, the more you run, until (and this is important) you can be "caught". Most women won't chase a man forever, regardless of how enamoured by him they are, as they don't want to lose face by appearing desperate. So, limit the time you spend with them, keep phone conversations short, and don't show how much you're into them, at least in the early stages. You'll make the chase exciting, and remember - almost everyone loves a challenge.
If, however, your problem is that you lust after people who are already in relationships, then you need to sit yourself down and have a long, hard think. You know the reason for it - outlined above - but you just can't seem to settle on people who are single. Realise that this is natural, but in our society it's not acceptable to be a homewrecker, so you'll have to learn to curb your desires. Go out more, meet new people, and don't obsess over that one person so much, particularly if they're married. When you've begun a happy, healthy relationship with someone who was single at the same time as you, you'll automatically appear to be more attractive to the opposite sex, which will give you more options than you had when you were single. I don't mean you should settle for second best, but realise that most relationships will come to an end and you have to take advantage of each one while it lasts, until (hopefully) you meet the person you're meant to be with for the rest of time.
Until then, just keep on being a challenge, and you'll find that you'll have far more options than if you weren't playing hard to get. People will always want what they can't have - use this to your advantage but don't take it so far that you wreck a good relationship. Best of luck to you.
But how, as a single person, can you use this natural phenomenon to your advantage? Simple - by making yourself a challenge. If you're hard to get a hold of, or are playing hard to get, you present a challenge to the woman (or man) who is interested in you. The more they chase, the more you run, until (and this is important) you can be "caught". Most women won't chase a man forever, regardless of how enamoured by him they are, as they don't want to lose face by appearing desperate. So, limit the time you spend with them, keep phone conversations short, and don't show how much you're into them, at least in the early stages. You'll make the chase exciting, and remember - almost everyone loves a challenge.
If, however, your problem is that you lust after people who are already in relationships, then you need to sit yourself down and have a long, hard think. You know the reason for it - outlined above - but you just can't seem to settle on people who are single. Realise that this is natural, but in our society it's not acceptable to be a homewrecker, so you'll have to learn to curb your desires. Go out more, meet new people, and don't obsess over that one person so much, particularly if they're married. When you've begun a happy, healthy relationship with someone who was single at the same time as you, you'll automatically appear to be more attractive to the opposite sex, which will give you more options than you had when you were single. I don't mean you should settle for second best, but realise that most relationships will come to an end and you have to take advantage of each one while it lasts, until (hopefully) you meet the person you're meant to be with for the rest of time.
Until then, just keep on being a challenge, and you'll find that you'll have far more options than if you weren't playing hard to get. People will always want what they can't have - use this to your advantage but don't take it so far that you wreck a good relationship. Best of luck to you.
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