JourneywomanBe yourself - only better
April 23rd 2008 00:23
When it comes to love advice, most people will tell you that you need to be yourself. Now this is all well and good, but sometimes, being yourself isn't enough to attract the one you want. What you need to be is an extended version of yourself - smarter, funnier and more confident. Don't completely alter your personality, as you'll come across as fake, but work on the elements of it that aren't giving you the success you would like.
Stop and think for a second. What would make you more attractive to the opposite sex? What don't you like about your personality? Changing things slowly, one element at a time, is the way to go. For me, I know that the fact that I smoke is a major turnoff. Fortunately, my current boyfriend smokes too, so I'm off the hook for a little while, but when it comes to my next relationship I'll have to become a non-smoker. To be honest, I'm looking forward to quitting as it is truly a disgusting and expensive habit. But I digress.
When you've identified what's holding you back, it's time to put the changes in place. Learning to be more confident/funny/whatever is easy - there's free resources all over the Internet to tell you how - but it's putting it into practice that becomes difficult. At first you might even feel like a total faker, but remember that most people are too interested in themselves to notice minor changes in you. The more you practice, the better you get at it, so keep trying until you've found the success you've been looking for.
In the end, people love you for who you are, but in the early stages of courtship you have to be better than what you are. Personality should be a constant evolution, not something set in stone. By continually improving yourself, you'll gain the elements of persona that you desire, until they come naturally to you and you don't have to try anymore. In the meantime, though, make a conscious effort to change - be yourself, only better, and you'll find that more opportunities for love will come your way.
The road to self-improvement
Stop and think for a second. What would make you more attractive to the opposite sex? What don't you like about your personality? Changing things slowly, one element at a time, is the way to go. For me, I know that the fact that I smoke is a major turnoff. Fortunately, my current boyfriend smokes too, so I'm off the hook for a little while, but when it comes to my next relationship I'll have to become a non-smoker. To be honest, I'm looking forward to quitting as it is truly a disgusting and expensive habit. But I digress.
When you've identified what's holding you back, it's time to put the changes in place. Learning to be more confident/funny/whatever is easy - there's free resources all over the Internet to tell you how - but it's putting it into practice that becomes difficult. At first you might even feel like a total faker, but remember that most people are too interested in themselves to notice minor changes in you. The more you practice, the better you get at it, so keep trying until you've found the success you've been looking for.
In the end, people love you for who you are, but in the early stages of courtship you have to be better than what you are. Personality should be a constant evolution, not something set in stone. By continually improving yourself, you'll gain the elements of persona that you desire, until they come naturally to you and you don't have to try anymore. In the meantime, though, make a conscious effort to change - be yourself, only better, and you'll find that more opportunities for love will come your way.
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Comment by tlcorbin
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Raven
Comment by Journeywoman
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Comment by tlcorbin
Coffee Quip
A Global Citizen
Paranormal Paranormal
Is Why
Alaska Chronicle
Sleezer's World
I like the premise of your post because as a young man I was shy around girls and wasn't wise in the ways of communicating with them on a meaningful level.
For me dating didn't start until I was in the military and I married the first girl I felt attracted to; it ended poorly.
So, on behalf of awkward fellas everywhere, thanks.
Raven
Comment by Journeywoman
Great Hair Style Tips
I Dream of Hollywood
Australian Chick
Gonzo
Fashion Peach
Thanks for your comments Raven, they're always appreciated. That's what I'm hoping to do - instruct the shy guys, the good guys, on how to be successful with women. We're not as mysterious as we seem!
Comment by the world of gaye
batty
Family Madness
bright lights greedy city
REFLECTIONS
Gaye Land
Comment by Journeywoman
Great Hair Style Tips
I Dream of Hollywood
Australian Chick
Gonzo
Fashion Peach