JourneywomanBe careful who you trust
June 12th 2008 02:32
I had a one-night stand with a guy a few months ago, and he wanted to make it a regular thing but I didn't, as I was ridiculously drunk when it happened and wasn't really that into him. I let him down as nicely as possible, and we remained friends after that.
Or so I thought.
It turns out that not only was he telling people that we were sleeping together on a regular basis - thus destroying my reputation - he was also slandering my personality. An acquaintance of mine brought this to my attention, which I'm grateful for, but when I found out I was so, so angry. I told this pathetic excuse for a man in no uncertain terms that we were no longer friends, as he clearly had no respect for me and was ruining my chances of finding someone new. He seemed indifferent and not at all ashamed about what he'd said and done. What a waste of space!
The experience has taught me a valuable lesson, however - when it comes to sexual hookups, you need to know who you can trust, before you hook up with them. To be honest, my instinct was telling me the whole time that he wasn't a trustworthy person - he frequently referred to himself as a 'gypsy', for example - but foolishly I ignored it and trusted him anyway.
So learn from my mistake, and before you share sensitive information with someone or sleep with them, make sure you know their personality well enough to be able to trust them not to let you down. Often, people will hide their untrustworthiness, even going so far as to say things like, "You can trust me." When someone says this, alarm bells should be ringing in your head - if they were truly a trustworthy person, this would be implicit. Trust your own instincts as well when it comes to judging a person's character - most of the time, your first impression of someone will be the right one.
Or so I thought.
How well do you really know him?
It turns out that not only was he telling people that we were sleeping together on a regular basis - thus destroying my reputation - he was also slandering my personality. An acquaintance of mine brought this to my attention, which I'm grateful for, but when I found out I was so, so angry. I told this pathetic excuse for a man in no uncertain terms that we were no longer friends, as he clearly had no respect for me and was ruining my chances of finding someone new. He seemed indifferent and not at all ashamed about what he'd said and done. What a waste of space!
The experience has taught me a valuable lesson, however - when it comes to sexual hookups, you need to know who you can trust, before you hook up with them. To be honest, my instinct was telling me the whole time that he wasn't a trustworthy person - he frequently referred to himself as a 'gypsy', for example - but foolishly I ignored it and trusted him anyway.
So learn from my mistake, and before you share sensitive information with someone or sleep with them, make sure you know their personality well enough to be able to trust them not to let you down. Often, people will hide their untrustworthiness, even going so far as to say things like, "You can trust me." When someone says this, alarm bells should be ringing in your head - if they were truly a trustworthy person, this would be implicit. Trust your own instincts as well when it comes to judging a person's character - most of the time, your first impression of someone will be the right one.
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